It'll Have to Be
by nanirain
Summary: Inu made his choice and now he's going through with it. its just as much for Kag as anybody else. even if he hasn't told her that. koga wants answers. Inu knows that not everyone is meant for happy endings. So this... this will have to be good enough.


**A/N **: _Something i found the other day, meant to be the ending of a fanfic that i hadn't started yet. But i figured that what with current writer's block, i should probably just turn it into one sad oneshot, instead of a really sad fanfic. Hope you at least find it decent.  
xox nani_

**Disclaimer**: _No recognizable material belongs to me. _

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"What happened?" Koga asked, his voice softer, more understanding… Ayumi watched as he reached out to her. Again.

In the shadows of the cave, the young red-head shook her head and took a step backward, making the decision to stay hidden in the shadows instead of making herself known. This wasn't her place to say anything. She had come over in the early morning to spend time with Koga. He had started to grow closer to her since he'd realized that Kagome didn't…

Well, Kagome was always the source of problems now, and solutions.

And here she was again, showing up on the doorstep of the man who she'd turned down, crying like a two year old whose lollipop had just been ripped out of her mouth.

Like she'd said before, this wasn't her place. She could see that now.

OoOoOoO

Koga saw the way she tried to draw away from him, and put a hand on Kagome's shoulder, making her shiver, despite the heat of the setting sun.

"I…" She choked on air and spoke again, still shaking. "I let him hurt me again." She said softly, and Koga's grip grew warm and tight with anger. "All over again…" She didn't even seem to be there.

"I'll go deal with it." He said, and then he was gone. She turned around in surprise, swallowing a shaky gasp of air while the tears streamed down her face.

She watched Koga's silvery blue whirlwind, already miles away, and she unable to call out to him, and scared to death that he would forget his promise to her. Her hands were clasped together in fists against the dip in her collar bone, and she suddenly felt all the strength sap out of her. The cold gust from his whirlwind made her skirt ruffle and blew her long raven hair into the air.

She watched him until he was out of sight, and then forced herself to look directly into the scalding, red sun. It was time to let everything go. Finally let all of it fall away, and start over again.

OoOoOoO

"I heard you're leaving her."

The young, silver man didn't make any signs that he had heard the wolf at all. He simply just remained standing still, staring at the ground, his bangs shadowing his downcast eyes. "Feh. Did you?" He asked, his voice suggesting that he didn't really care.

"Yeah." Koga snapped angrily, walking up to the hanyou's back and grabbing his shoulder to jerk him around. He wanted to see the hanyou's face when he told him what he had done to her. To see if he could even bring himself to care. "I heard you were leaving _my_ Kagome for some _dead_ bitch." He said coldly, looking into hardened golden eyes. "Is that true?" he demanded menacingly, his voice cold.

"What's it to you?" Inuyasha asked, "My business is my own fucking business."

Koga tilted his head and smirked coldly. "Agreed." He said, shoving the hanyou back a little as he released his shoulder. Inuyasha swayed but otherwise made no retaliation, for some reason it only pissed Koga off even more. "But when she shows up at _my_ place, crying _he_r eyes out, and broken up in pieces over _you_, it kinda gets me _pissed_ enough to want to meddle in your fucking business."

There was a long, tense silence, in which Koga waited, and dared Inuyasha to say something. Explain something. But just because the hanyou was about to go and die didn't make him any less stubborn.

"Where is she?" Inuyasha finally asked, hesitantly. As if he knew he shouldn't be asking, like he was trying not to care.

'_None of _your_ fucking business._' Koga started to snap, but he bit his tongue in the last second, remembering what Kagome had said to him, _asked_ of him… "She's…" he started, unsure how much to reveal. "She's safe." He settled with, his face grim. "And that's all you need to know."

"... Is she with yours?" Inuyasha asked, not making eye contact anymore.

"That a problem for you?" Koga asked sharply. "She needs _somewhere _to go." He hesitated, and then smiled cruelly. "Bet it bothers the hell out of you that she came to me…. Or don't you even care anymore, mutt face?"

"Fine." Inuyasha said, his golden eyes still emotionless and hardened against the world.

Koga bit back an expression of surprise and anger. "She-She's _not fine_! She's fucking _heartbroken_, you bastard!" He blurted, "Did I _forget_ to _mention_ _that or something_!" He voice dangerously.

They both knew that he hadn't forgotten.

"Because I didn't choose her." Inuyasha said, his voice a calm contrast to Koga's overly emotional one. His golden eyes grew stormy as he looked down at the ground, his fists clenching to press little half-moons of blood in the center of his palms. Koga realized suddenly from the look on Inuyasha's face that the hanyou thought Kagome should have been strong enough to deal with his leaving. He could tell from Inuyasha's face that the hanyou was unhappy with her for being unable to deal.

The anger swelled up inside Koga's chest as he remembered Kagome's words. He hesitated for so long… "You really are stupid, aren't you?" he finally said, his voice quiet and barely restrained. "It's because you're _dying_ you fucking idiot!" He finally snapped. "And she can't bear the though of losing you because she -" _'here goes everything' _"_loves_ you!" There. He'd said it. Finally it was out in the open. He didn't have to keep it bottled up. Not anymore. '_And that's why she came to me._' He finally admitted, to himself, even if he didn't say it out loud, his blue eyes fell to the dark earth at his feet. '_Because I know everything about unrequited love…. Only… mine is for_ her_…_' Wow… that really stung.

He bit back the emotions and turned his attention back to Inuyasha. The hanyou's expression caught him off guard and Koga found himself taking a step back in surprise before he could even stop himself. Inuyasha had been looking right at him, intently. And the golden eyes, which had been so hard and cold a moment before, were suddenly showing an entire world of bitter pain, heartache, and complete surprise.

For all of three seconds.

These emotional eyes searched through Koga's blues for any sign of truth, desperately wanting to know... And then the hanyou opened his mouth to say something, his eyes showing that his heart was bleeding, but he stopped himself just as the words tried to squeeze out of his throat. He seemed to re-think his situation, and his brain told him to suppress his heart. So he did.

He turned away from Koga, and the wolf could have sworn he saw the hanyou's whole body shudder before the shaky, hard words come from the hanyou's lips.

"She needs someone to protect her..." Inuyasha said softly, justifying himself. "I _promised _to protect her, so that's why I have to do this, Koga. She _deserves_ it." He explained. "She deserves more… she _needs_ someone. She's been alone for so long, and her entire life's been turned upside down a thousand times." There was a long, tense pause before Inuyasha spoke again. "_Think you can bring yourself to get that_?" he asked venomously.

Koga felt the sneer overtake his face, as he looked disgustedly at the hanyou's back. "Yeah, I think I do get it. I get that _you're_ taking the easy way out, mutt face." He said. "This bitch is dead!" he snapped. "She doesn't _need_ any protection if she's fucking _dead_! And you're giving in to her because it's easy to die for her, isn't it? But living? That's the hell you want to get away from. And it's because you're a filthy hanyou isn't it? You don't even see how lucky you are to have someone like _Kagome_ to _care_ about you!"

There was a really long silence before Inuyasha finally released the lip that he had been biting on while Koga spoke. "I wasn't talking about Kikyo just now." Inuyasha said. "Moron."

And with that Inuyasha started to walk away while Koga stood stunned. "What?" The wolf managed to choke out, his mind scrambling to understand. "Let me get this straight!" he yelled after the hanyou, who slowed his steps. "You're dying with _Kikyo_ because you love _Kagome_? … Are - Are you _nuts_? That doesn't even come _close _to making sense, you damn-!"

Inuyasha stopped and looked over his shoulder at Koga. "I'm dying because I need to fulfill my promise to Kikyo. But yeah, I'm doing it for Kagome too."

Koga only stared, speechless. "You _are _insane." He managed. "I think I may have bashed your head in a couple too many times or something…"

Inuyasha smirked. "You wish, wolf."

Koga started as he caught a flicker of whoever Inuyasha used to be before all this had happened. The same guy he had fought with so many times was still there under all the layers of somberness and coldness. For the first time, Koga saw the old Inuyasha through the mask of freak Sesshomaru-ness.

"She's going to need someone to protect her." Inuyasha said again steadily, and Koga felt his heart start beating faster as he tried to understand what was going on. He thought he knew, but that couldn't possibly be right, so he scrambled for another explanation. "She's going to need someone strong. To look after her, and keep her happy. … Because of Kikyo... and because of who I am..." he hesitated. "I could never be that person."

And Koga was still scrambling.

"She's going to need you." Inuyasha said, and Koga knew that there was no other explanation. Inuyasha was giving her to him. Freely. _Asking_ him to take her away from him.

What the hell was going on?

"But I swear, wolf, if you fucking touch her even once I'll…"

"What?" Koga asked with half a dead laugh in his voice. "_Kill_ me?" he saw the world strike at Inuyasha's heart. "You'll be dead remember? Kind of hard to make threats to come after me from the underworld, mutt face. You can't come after me once you kill yourself." His face was completely serious.

And Inuyasha smiled. "I'll find a way." He said, and for a second, even Koga believed him.

The wolf scoffed. "Why are you doing this again? Giving her to _me _of all people? Not that I'm complaining, but it's not really your style, mutt face."

Inuyasha smiled and cast his eyes to the ground. "I want someone to be able to show her… how beautiful she is." He said so quietly that Koga wasn't all that sure he had meant for anyone else to hear him. "She _deserves _it."

'_He loves her_.' Both men thought at the same exact moment, their thoughts screaming out to one another and meshing in fate and time. And for the first time since either of them had ever laid eyes on one another, the two young men reached a state of perfect understanding for each other. Their love for Kagome had brought them there.

Koga stared, feeling the momentary connection with Inuyasha and then snorted. "Figures you'd turn all mature on me right as you're about to die."

Inuyasha blinked before he turned away. "Feh. You wish, Koga."

The wolf prince blinked in surprise before his face turned serious again. "She'll never be happy without you." He forced himself to say, amazed that he was telling this to his very rival in love. "I'll never be able to make her forget you."

"I know." Inuyasha said, speaking a thousand words. He had the experience of not being able to forget a past love. Koga knew that the hanyou was thinking about his own past and the twisted love triangle they had all gotten thrown into. "But if you try hard enough… she could grow to love you for accepting her." He said, still thinking about Kagome maybe. "And that should be good enough."

"… Guess it'll have to be." Koga answered stiffly, staring hard at Inuyasha, who nodded and then started to walk away. Leaving to find Kikyo. Leaving to find his own death by her cold hands.

'_Yeah…_' The hanyou thought silently to himself as he thought about Kagome and the sweet smile that he would be leaving behind. "This'll have to be…"

_good enough_ –

_**Fin**._

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**A/N**: _I know, I know, you're all going to kill me aren't you? ;p sorry. Tough luck. This is the end, and it will have to be good enough. Unless you want an epilogue of Kagome and Koga being together and her thinking of Inu or Inu in underworld thinking of her, etc. but… I don't know if I can manage to pull that off, or if I'd want to even._


End file.
